Here are some pictures of a girl you used to jerk off to leaving the gym and lookin’ more like a man that I ever remember her lookin’ but not really caring because girls leaving the gym is a fetish of mine, mainly because my wife can’t walk on her own, I can’t walk up stairs on my own and the thought of running a marathon would give me a boner if I could get one…It’s a whole opposite’s attract bullshit….

While I just got home from drinking Irish Car Bombs, not because I like to celebrate St Patrick’s Day, but because I like to drink all the time, this bitch is out on the treadmill and doing ab exercises.

I ended up at some shitty pub after trying to avoid all the drunken idiots I’d normally never have to deal with because they would be in the suburbs being idiots in their basements. The drunker I got the more entertaining the night became. I’d have to say the highlight of the night is when I told the barmaid that I was a pervert and she didn’t believe me until I started asking her to flash me her panties, which she did once or twice but took a lot of work….

All this to say that girls aren’t as easy in person as they are on the internet. Here I can just type in “Panties” and I get all I fucking need, which goes to show you that living life away from the computer is a fool’s way of living….

Posted in:Christina Applegate|Unsorted