I was on this kick last week that my exit strategy with the site was to sell it to Lohan for $100,000 and issue a press release and stop my writing and go on a drinking binge. So I started harassing Stavros because I have his phone number trying to get him to make it happen. He never returned my calls, I should have recorded my messages, but it was all top secret business strategy and I like to keep somethings as a surprise but now that the idea has been flushed down the toilet with my stepdaughter’s tampons, I figure I can share with you….I guess the fact that you aren’t reading this also helps….

I guess I was all about Lohan buying the site was because I feel a connection to her. She was the original slut I stalked, I have watched her go from party slut to bigger party slut to fake rehab to smoking opium at hotel parties after rehab to nip slips and vagina shots and herpes and all the good fucking times that make her who she is. I feel like I could be her real stepfather and that I have had a bigger role in raising her than her own drunken father…

That said, she’s looking nice and thick in her tights and oversized Jewish Outfit of the Day top, covering what could be a pregnancy but is probably more like a whole lot of ice cream….From one fat guy to another, you’re still lookin great in my books, sweetheart.

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