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I am – The First of the Nick and Vanessa Pics to Surface…..


So you’ve all heard the story, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo went to Mexico to celebrate their one year anniversary. Nick and Vanessa decide to have sex in the hot tub. Some creepy Mexican photographer who I wish I knew was there to witness the whole thing and get pictures. Nick and Vanessa put a stop to this shit before any of us got to see the uncensored pics.

One of my readers sent in what he called the uncensored pics, but they are pictures I had already seen and they are censored because there’s penetration shots, but I figured I’d pass it onto you. It’s almost 5 am, I am tired and I have no real interest in telling you the story about how I always planned to dump my wife on one of our anniversaries because I thought it would be funny to force her to get off her ass and go out to buy me a bottle of scotch and light up candles trying to be romantic then telling her that I don’t think shit’s working out, but that’s just because I am an asshole and resented her for breaking my penis by being so fat. Reality is I would never leave her, she pays my rent and is the mother of my stepkids and I am not prepared to venture out into that cold scary world alone, but if you’re a little more ambitious than me, I think you should do that to one of your girlfriends. I know you’ve never had a girlfriend, but you can’t go through life thinking that you’ll never have one, you just have to have hope.

The same hope I have to see a Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo picture with some fucking cum shot action to her face or something equally exciting, even though I can only assume she’s into taking load internal because that’s how Hollywood seems to roll, or role, I never know which role or roll to use.

Posting these pictures will land me a Lawyers letter from these amateur pornstars, at least they’ll know my name and reality is most people have had sex at least once, it’s not that big of a deal, maybe they need to stop taking themselves so seriously, it’s not like anyone in the ‘industry’ takes them seriously.

To See The Censored But Obvious Giving It To Her From Behind Pic

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  • Me

    You’re a moron. I hope your wife finds this and leaves you. Or at least cuts off your dick. You don’t have to fuck her if she’s “so fat” but you know you can’t get it anywhere else so you suck up to her for it.

    The reality is, your probably 40 some years old, and if you left her, you’d be alone for the rest of your life, broke, senile, and lost.

    Your wife deserves better, you, however, don’t. You fucking biased chauvinistic sexist piece of shit.

  • Hawtness!

  • Jane

    Clearly fakes… doesn’t look like either of them at all. Yawn.