Julien, our token gay blogger, sent me this email this morning. And since I think Dita Von Tease is just a whole bunch of (hot) hype, I thought I would post it. It’s so gay I can almost hear his lisp when I read it.

Ok, just because I’m gay doesnt mean I’m going to redecorate your house and take you to Ikea to pick out new plates for your dining room. Choosing paint colors that match your new bedspread is not my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon. I like to spend my Saturdays lying in bed recovering from the fact that I came home at 8am all sketchy from some loft party that I went to after last call at the bar.

Like last night, some ex-fag hag of mine calls me up because the loser that she was dating realized that he could do better than her. She called me up all weepy and shit, wanting me to come over and talk about her failed relationship. She probably wanted me to hold her for awhile and then take a bubble bath with her to make her feel better.

Look, that was what I did when I was fat in high school and no guys to fuck me. But now I’ m hot and have better things to do with my life. So I made up some lie about being sick and instead went to a strip club where I got a contact lap dance from a hot guy with his initials tattooed on his ass. He was uncut but didn’t have too much foreskin. Hot.

Anyway here are a few pics of Dita Von Teese. Now, like I said, I’m not you the kind of fag who is going to help you with all your clothing issues. But even this is too much. I know she’ s supposed to be some fashion maven but her dress looks like a needlepoint picture that my grandmother had in her kitchen where she and I used to have teaparties. Girl, what the hell you were thinking?

Smooch!

Julien

Posted in:Dita Von Tease|Unsorted