I am reviewing the Maxim Hometown Hotties for fun, there are 10 of them and this is number 6. Her name is Nicki, she’s from Kentucky, she likes country music and being in Maxim has always been her dream so she’s almost made it to where she wanted to be. If she was to win, I wonder where she’d go next since there’d be nothing to look forward to as she’d already achieved everything she ever wanted to….

I am not really into fake tits at all. I am not sure why. Maybe it is because they feel fucking weird or maybe it is because they look unnatural and I am more of a candid picture, amateur porn type of person and not too into the polished airbrushed or doctored fakes. So I look at fake tits and see a girl who is insecure about her body, who has a negative self image, who thinks tits get her ahead in life, and who probably only dates dudes with six packs, even if they are dumber than the implants she’s rockin in her tits.

However, I am also a dude and dudes like girls and dudes like tits and when looking at a chick, I’, happy to stare, especially if her body is as tight as Nicki’s. I am not too sure she has much of a chance in winning, because she’s up against a ten other half naked chicks, but I would totally watch her take a bath on webcam…because I know that if we met in person, she’d probably get security to kick me out of the bar, like the time I got aggressive with some dude when I was wasted and his girlfriend told the bouncer I punched her in the face, when all I really did was tell her that she had a dumpy ass and that was only because she told me I was a fat fuck….I said something along the lines of, if I got AIDS from fucking a slut like you, I’d lose the weight bitch, but no matter how many squats you do, you’ll still have a dumpy fucking ass. Genetics can suck sometimes…and I can be an asshole. I like to think that song party like a rockstar was written for me, even though I am usually drunk on cheap beer and not champagne like some aspiring actor I met last week….That shit was Gayer than Ellen…

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