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I am – Lydia Hearst is Does Puma of the Day


So Lydia Hearst is a model and an heiress to a huge media company and she’s dating Cisco Adler. That’s all you need to know about her because that’s pretty much all there is to her. I think the miracle in this whole situation is how she landed a modeling contract and by miracle I mean having a rich important family to hook her up, because sure she’s tall and skinny and I’d totally invite her to my birthday party, but in these pictures her face scares the fuck out of me.

Some girl decided to add me to AIM to ask why I am a woman hater. I tried to convince her that I love girls and they fascinate me and that I just talk about chicks because they are all crazy and make for good content, but she’s not buying it. She’s convinced that I judge women and I write mean things about them because I hate them and because she’s clearly oversensitive. I am sure I write mean things about everyone, I try not to discriminate against hating on anything. I’m politically correct like that. I know I’ve offended Jews for saying Jewish women look like men and that they are all smoke and mirrors, Black People, Natives, Non Status Natives, Gay People, Chachi Motherfuckers and their Magnum’s of Goose, DJ AM, Hispanics who I call Mexican when really they are from South America or Central America, Rich Kids, Brown People because I called someone Shit Stained the other day, go through the archives, I hate on a lot of things.

The reality of the whole woman hating conversation is that she sent me a picture of her ass and I told her I can’t tell if it’s hot or not, so as predicted she sent me another picture of her ass, and said that I still couldn’t tell with the angle, so she took a third picture of her ass and sent it to me and I said that I wanted to be homies with it, give it a high five and take it out for ice cream and she went on this rampage because I made her feel insecure.

What it comes down to is that I hate stupidity more than I hate gender and I hate myself more than I hate stupidity. On that happy note, here’s Lydia Hearst Rockin’ out for PUMA…..

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