I had a pretty fucking weird dream. Don’t worry, I am not turning into some kind of hippie who thinks he’s an Indian and camps out in the park in my leather vest and headdress who analyzes dreams, but I am usually too wasted to actually have dreams because I just kinda pass out, so remembering last night’s dream was legendary.
So here it is. I dreamt that I was in some kind of auditorium or some shit, and I had to shit really fucking badly and couldn’t find a bathroom anywhere, when I did there were line-ups and I didn’t know what to do because I had to be back in the auditorium. So I’m sitting there and can’t hold shit in, so I end up shitting myself as discreetly as possible. I remember thinking how good it felt for about a second, before realizing what I had just done and the smell hit. Everyone in the room started making a fuss about the smell and lookin’ around to see what the fuck caused it. The girl next to me started gagging and leans over and I’m playing along with it like I am innocent and that the sewage system in the building must have backed up. Then I stand up and I’m wearing white pants that I ruined and everyone starts pointing and laughing, so instead of running and crying out of embarrassment, I drop my pants and start running after people with my shit covered hand, and it turns into a scene from a teenage lesbian pillow fight video.
Either way, when I saw these Rachel Bilson in her not-so-period friendly pants, I figured I had to post it, because it’s like I’m a psychic who sees the future in my dreams because I saw white jeans on me so that only means that me and Rachel Bilson’s pants are connected at the soul and I’ll get the chance to shit on them in person one day…..