I’ve been hacked and not by Angelina Jolie. One of you fuckers decided you didn’t like my site and felt it shouldn’t be online anymore, I’m talking to you Lily Allen or someone who really likes her music and has posters of her all over your bed like she was your wife but doesn’t know you exist….So as revenge, you decide attack the servers forcing the site to go down….It is a real fuckin’ piss off and I fucking hate you for it…

What isn’t a real fuckin’ piss off is seeing Heidi Klum jumping on a trampoline. She makes me laugh whenever I see her on video because she’s an immigrant and probably only understands half of what is being said to her and half of the American way and ends up lookin’ reatarded.

She’s like this kid I knew in my high school from somewhere in Eastern Europe who would dress up in his native communist clothes and constantly try to get us to do his native communist dance to the popular songs from his country that he would play on his communist fiddle. He was a good time but only his broken English was worse than mine and because and he’d always end up hurting people while juggling….. he constantly felt the need to pull his penis out of his pants because someone told him that’s how Americans make girls happy and he didn’t realize they meant during private time, he thought they meant in general…and Vlad was a really nice guy who liked making people happy

Either way, Heidi Klum makes me happy on this day where I have to accept that not everyone likes me, like the day Vlad got kicked out of our school for sexual harassment…when all he was trying to do was make you smile…

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