Mariah Carey is in Japan because that’s the only country that is crazy enough to care about her and they got her to throw some pitch at some baseball game. She was classy enough to show up in her Mariah track jacket and workout shorts while wearing her high heels because they are the only thing that makes her fat legs look thin. I guess the joke that is Mariah Care continues but on an international scale and I guess it doesn’t matter because I wouldn’t mind her and her weak chin throwing anything down for me, preferably my pants, because I have a useless set of balls I wouldn’t mind her singing to.

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