I heard on the news that there was a tornado warning and I got excited because I have never been in a tornado and assumed it was a sign of the apocalypse. When the power went out and the overcast and wind rolled in, I was excited to see the world come to an end. Unfortunately, I was wrong, and people like Paris Hilton as still gracing the planet, but the good news is that she’s gracing the planet alone and she doesn’t have a little spawn growing up inside her tattered womb like everyone reported last week.

She is however, still a trashy attention whore who despite having no talent or skills gets away with being a bisexual cokeslut drunk, and instead of being sent to rehab to save her career, is paid lots of money to show girls how to dance to the wrong song that the DJ is playing because the beat doesn’t go with her pre-planned moves.

The worst thing is that little girls are just copying her bullshit, wearing the party dresses, dancing on the bars and talking like a semi-retarded valley girl who got in an a drunk driving car accident on prom night and things just haven’t been the same since.

It’s got so bad that even today, I saw a little asian girl rockin’ animal print boots, she was about 3 and I already knew what fate had lined up for her and I blame Paris.

Either way, Paris was at a club, drinking and dancing and I assume that if that doesn’t confirm she’s not pregnant, and the fact that she’s got more pussy diseases than the SPCA and can’t get pregnant is just speculation, pictures of her miscarriage dripping down her thigh, is in the only thing that will let me sleep easy and can only hope it’s in the near future.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Pregnant