I was never a fan of Eva Herzigova when she was modeling in the 90s, but that’s just because I wasn’t into skinny chicks back then and if I was, I probably wouldn’t be married to a very large vat full off fucking rancid pudding that is my wife, but I am into skinny chicks now and rightfully so, I guess I just evolve with the times like high fashion but not as expensive.

When I look at Eva Herzigova, I think of a time when I was a little smarter and instead of spending my days writing a website badly, I had big plans for myself. I had spent time with hookers and heard about this Mail Order bride service from communist countries and was doing everything I could to get up in that because as you know, I know a lot of desperate dudes would would be more than happy to buy happiness and by happiness I mean a permanent whore that they can call their wife.

I got so far as to meeting a few guys from the local Russian mob who were down to support my venture and would provide the girls who would be willing to be smuggled into America, the promised land of opportunity, if I set up the infrastructure. Now the word infrastructure in and of itself was intimidating because I am a lazy dude, so I just flaked out and went back to drinking but I heard they did really well with it, and even with the fall of communism, which I was hoping would put a damper on the business I like to think I was a forefather of but didn’t see a dime for, shit’s still going strong.

An elderly Eva Herzigova is probably the reason why, they just don’t make girls like this overhear, but they do make great fast food, so I guess it’s a trade off.

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