I don’t know why Kelly Rowland is at the beach, it’s not like girl needs a tan and every black person I know hates swimming because there was no pool in the projects they are from, just broken down fire hydrants they used to run through and that doesn’t really help you become comforable with sharks. They also hate getting their hair wet, even when they shower because it fucks up their relaxer or whatever the fuck they put in that shit, so Kelly Rowland’s really got no business being at the beach other than to get some attention by showing off the smallest set of fake tits ever purchased.

I blame Beyonce for leaving Rowland behind on her rise to the top. Now when you ask teenagers if they like Destiny’s child when you are trying to make conversation with them at the mall, they don’t know who the fuck you are talking about and look at you like you’re some kind of sex offender who talks to them about blowjobs on Xbox Live late at night.

I guess when you were once at the top, beggin’ for someone to pay a little attention to you isn’t worth laughin’ at, and you should all just make Rowland feel better about herself and take a good look at how skinny shit is…maybe you could even put it on the cover of a tabloid to help prevent her from following her career’s steady plung by jumping off her 18th story condo balcony.

I like to think I just saved a life. I am a hero like that.

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