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Britney Spears is in a Brown Bikini of the Day

Britney Spears wears her brown bikini to erase her potential shit stains from not wiping her ass properly which is the same reason why my wife used to wear red underwear for the week of her period back before she gave up on life and would take the time to use tampons instead of what she does now that pretty much makes anywhere she sits or lays down look like a murder scene. I guess this is Britney’s way of telling the world that she hasn’t fully given up yet and there’s still more of her to give us.

The whole thing reminds me of opening my fridge yesterday out of dire hunger and finding absolutely nothing to eat, because my wife beat me to it, but opened the vegetable crisper out of desperation, only to find 2 rotten cucumbers that had probably been there for 6 months, not quite long enough to be dried up and easy to clean. After gagging at the fuckin’ smell that was worse than any rank pussy I’ve met, I figured if I don’t clean it no one will and leaving it there for another 6 months wasn’t condusive to getting my life together. Now I am not the best cleaner or most coordinated person out there so as I tried dumping it into an old grocery bag, I missed and shit exploed all over the floor, polluting the air with rotten cucumber smell and a brown gel like substance that was once nutritious eats. As I scrubbed the floor like the bitch that I am, all I could think about was that this was probably exatly what Britney’s underwear looks like when it isn’t all brown, strategically selected by her stylist to help clean up her dirty little image.

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Posted in:Britney Spears|Brown Bikini

  • Pete


  • Pete

    Britney’s rockin that bikini.

  • Matt

    I’d hit it.

    With a bottle or two of OxiClean and a couple of Shamwows.

  • Jake

    Is this article suppose to be funny? Wow, get some new writers.

  • Andrea

    Hey… ShamWOW does not work, btw.

  • Glen Quagmire

    She’s wearing too much clothes. I find that offensive.

  • Candi Apples

    Nice bikini,but the color brown does not suit Britney.

    And yes,it looks like she shit herself.

  • Apres Ski

    Never mind the bikini. She’s still got that ‘pregnancy’ gut.
    She needs to work on that first. Once that’s gone, she’ll be able to wear
    anything and it won’t matter if it looks like sh*t or not . . . her body will be smokin’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Fingerbanger

    If your wife wears red underwear while in her period then I pity you more than ever, because when I get my period I do like Britney and wear dark brown underwear – when blood dries (or at least period blood) the stains are dark brown.

  • James

    I’d so hit it. Oh yes.

  • Palm Beach princess

    at least she lost alot of that unsightly weight, but ew, a brown bikini? it would have looked much better if the color was nude, light tan, flesh colored, etc. you get my point. shes still a vile piece of human garbage though.

  • Palm Beach princess

    Apres Ski, i agree with you, and Fingerbamnger, that was hilarious!!!!!

  • We have something like this in West Palm Beach. I will be sure the mention it to West Palm Beach Escorts. South Florida has so much to offer the business traveler.