Soul Legend, Grammy and Academy Award Winner, Shaft and Chef from South Park was found dead next to a running treadmill yesterday at around 1 pm. This provides further evidence to any of the haters who I argue with daily when they try to tell me that I need to exercise and that it is good for me and that maybe they should tell Hayes’ family and friends their theory on fitness, while I stick to being 300 pounds knowing that exercising will kill me, as I get fatter and fatter leading to diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease and pre-mature death.

I guess I can blame you South Park fans, if there are any of you still out there, who wished death upon Isaac Hayes for leaving the show after they made fun of Scientology so just know that you made this happen and that you are a muderer so next time you say “I hope he dies” or “I wish he was dead” realize the power that entails and use it towards good and by good I mean against the cast of The Hills.

RIP Motherfucker. Now let’s start this motherfuckin’ day….

Posted in:Isaac Hayes|RIP Motherfucker