I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

15

Aug

Autumn Reeser in a Bikini for Maxim of the Day

Autumn Reeser was on The O.C. She played someone named Taylor. I used to watch the OC because I had a shitty TV that got that channel for free using a shitty antenna that I made out of a coat hanger I was saving to use on my wife if ever she got pregnant before realizing I didn’t need it anymore because I found out I had fertility issues. I was also going to a college bar every thursday because it was 2 dollar beers at a time when I could afford to get wasted with college kids on 2 dollar beers.. It turned out that the first couple of weeks were awkward, because the girls just saw an old, messy, drunk guy raining on their parade like Lil Wayne Rain’s on the Hoes, all because I didn’t have anything to talk about with them other than their hot perky college tits in hopes of getting invited back to their dorms to watch them experiment with sex and drugs like the shit I’ve read / seen college girls do on the internet. I realized that watching the OC, that aired earlier that night, was a key “in” because they all watched it earlier that night and were hooked and would get excited when shit was brought up, leading to me being accepted in their circle so I made a point of staying on top of the shit and never got to watch them experiment with sex and drugs, but didn’t get beat up by asshole jocks when asking their girl’s dirty questions because I was in. Either way, I don’t remember this girl on the show, must have been after my time, but I do remember Rachel Bilson…..

Speaking of Rachel Bilson, I messaged some random girl on Facebook who’s last name was Bilson and this was our conversation…..

Jesus Martinez
with a name like Bilson, you should be related to Rachel Bilson, otherwise you should change your name, because there’s no real point in having it…..

Rachel Bilson’s Cousin
i am related to her….

Jesus Martinez
are you her second cousin? cuz if you are you can gay marry her.

Rachel Bilson’s Cousin
haha
she is my cousin

Jesus Martinez
Have you ever seen her naked?

Jesus Martinez
You know even as little kids playing in the lake or having bath’s togehter?

Jesus Martinez
What are the chances of you getting me a couple nude pics of her?

Jesus Martinez
Not very likely right?

Jesus Martinez
Like I shouldn’t start writing up a post announcing I have exclusive pics of her right?

Jesus Martinez
There must be something she did to piss you off over the years, maybe you resent her success and wish you were the star in the family….

Jesus Martinez
wouldn’t this be the best way to give her what she deserves….

Jesus Martinez
I guess you’re not into the idea…..

Jesus Martinez
Hello?

That’s when I gave up, I guess we’re no longer friends and that short moment we spent together on the internet, that made me one person away from Rachel Bilson, is one I will hold close to my heart forever.

Here’s Automn Reeser and her Firey hair that her literal parents named her after in her bikini for Maxim, even though it’s my second Maxim post of the day and fuckers aren’t even paying me for this shit, but I am hoping I encourage people to not buy any of their magazines because you can find all the goods here instead of there., it is my attempt to ruin them because I just resent everyone who makes more money than me, which is pretty much everyone.

Here’s a creepy video called Taylor and Ryan – Forever Love – That Made me Laugh….Because Someone Was Creepy/Lame Enough to Waste Their TIme Doing This….

Posted in:autumn reeser|Bikini|Maxim

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