Jessica Simpson’s still out trying to be Dolly Parton and this time she did it wearing a corset as a shirt under some cowboy shit and that’s something I am down with because I like seeing girls in lingerie and the only chance I really have is when they use that shit as outerwear. It’s the kind of shit that leads to public masturbation and is a good defense to rape, because if she’s in her underwear it’s like she’s saying yes despite her cries asking you to stop.

I was walking outside earlier and came across a dude who looked like he thought he just got raped, he was screaming bloody murder, and begging for the pain to stop and everyone just kinda looked at him wondering what the fuck was going on for 10 minutes as he ran around in hysterics. No one had the balls to ask him what was going on and I didn’t care enough to get involved, but seeing a dude freak out that curl up in the fetal position at 10 am screaming and crying, isn’t really the kind of dude I want to grab a beer with. The cops finally showed up, because I guess one of the suits in the area didn’t feel comfortable with the whole thing and they took him away and I assume sent him to the psych ward but it made for an entertaining experience, one probably more exciting that a Jessica Simpson concert because it’s been proven time and time again that her hot tits just don’t make up for her shitty songs, but when shit’s in picture and we don’t have to deal with her offensive voice, I have no issue staring and you shouldn’t either.

Posted in:Corset|Country|Jessica Simpson|Tits