Heidi Montag went fake grocery shopping with her fake nose and her fake tits and her fake boyfriend to help perpetuate their fake life together as real people, in real situations, living a real life and doing real life things and I don’t fuckin’ buy it. What I do buy is that Heidi posing with watermelons is meant to be funny because in all the time I have gone to the grocery store, which is a lot since I have a fat fucking wife who only likes eating or doing eating related activities like buying food to eat later, I have never seen anyone posing like this cry for attention of a girl. I’d wonder what went wrong in her life, like did she get enough attention from her parents growing up or was she the black sheep, did she get a lot of attention from boys or was she the Ugly Betty but less Mexican, but I don’t really care enough to. I find her ugly, useless and this is my weak attempt to make you hate her, the show they are on and the lies they are feeding our kids, because I want them off the air and back in whatever suburban town they crawled out of….

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