I once spilled a pot of boing water on my belly when making mash potatoes because it was all I could afford a few years ago. Within ten minutes I was in shock, convulsing on the ground with a fever and what felt like I was having a heart attack. I didn’t go to the hospital, but got the courage to stand up about 2 days later, with a stomach that looked like it had been raped by some kind of farm equipment. It was blistered and bleeding and made it impossible to move and I blame that burn for the beach body I don’t have because the pain I felt triggered something in my brain that made me never want to do physical activity again, but instead decided to take up emotional eating because I realized that injury was self-inflicted, and could only blame myself and feel sorry for myself while hating myself.

The point of that story, is to clearly state that I was burned by boiling water and was a total fuckin’ bitch about things and shit looked disgusting. I didn’t recover from it for months and I don’t even think I have scars to prove it ever happened, but I know that vile sight that scared girls from sleeping with me because they thought it was some form of herpes, has nothing on what Travis Barker looks like right now.

So here are some pictures of his baby momma, Shanna Moakler leaving the hospital distressed after seeing her man’s lesions, and not the lesions she is used to seeing ever since he fucked Paris Hilton and that Groupie in New Jersey. This shit is pretty serious and the fact that she’s wearing Hospital gear to see him for fear of infecting his damaged immune system proves it, even though I am sure she’s an emotional wreck to begin with and the kind of person who has the same reaction when she breaks a nail…..

The good news in all this is that AM wrote on his facebook page “I’M ALIVE”, which means in a few months I can go back to making fun of him. It would have been a great tragedy if I lost the punchline to most of my really bad jokes.

Posted in:Hospital|Plane Crash|Shanna Moakler|Travis Barker