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Archive for the Plane Crash Category

2008

24

Oct

Travis Barker After the Great Leg Fire of the Day

8 Comments »

These are the first real pictures of Travis Barker after a month stint in the hospital trying to deal with the horrible burns that he got after being in a plane crash that killed 5 people, just not the right people, I’m talking to you DJ AM. I am just bugging, I don’t wish death upon anyone, I figure it’s just nice to see that this mother fucker is out walking around because I think he’s a real talent. No one plays the drums quite like him and after being in hospital for a month, these pictures could be seen as inspirational and gross, because if I was burned on half my body, I’d make an effort to not advertise that shit, like the time I was at a restaurant and a dude with one of those voicebox things pulled out his fucking throat piece to eat right next to me, making me enjoy my shitty meal a hell of a lot less. We get it, life goes on and we have to deal with our shit, but trying to accommodate to the people around you is just the right thing to do…..I am talking to you guy who lives in the building next door and who insists on walking around in pantyhose……with your blinds open….smiling….cuz you know we’re all watching you in disgust….and you feel like you’re on some kind of stage performing for your fucking fans…..stop.

Either way, as Travis limps in his silly slippers, with his legs that once was covered in ink, DJ AM is touring with Jay Z, banging Mandy Moore and getting all kinds of sympathy from the world, so I guess he is the winner of the plane crash survival bet they had….and I guarantee at least one Barker fan is pouring gasoline on his leg right now, to simulate this body mod, since all the Barker fully body tattoo suit he copied is now pretty much obsolete…..

Posted in:Fire|Plane Crash|Travis Barker

2008

06

Oct

DJ AM’s Vintage Rolex After the Plane Crash of the Day

2 Comments »

So I went to a concert this past weekend, it was one of those DJ things with people who are down with DJ AM. I made some joke to the girl next to me who was some hot little slut, with a tight, round ass that I could balance my drink on, while using my hands to do other more important and inappropriate things to her, because I wanted to make her laugh since making a girl laugh, makes her panties come off even faster than drugging them, and it is a lot less suspicious when leaving the club, since you’re not pulling her by the hair.

Anyway, I said something along the lines of “I hear that DJ AM is providing pyrotechnics for the show” then did my best impression of a man running around on fire, she didn’t laugh. Then about 20 minutes later, I pulled out my lighter, lit it and said, “Look DJ AM is in the building”, again, no laughs….except from me because I thought it was hysterical.

Here is a picture AM posted of his rolex that was on his arm during the crash, looks pretty fucked up, but not as fucked up as a wedding DJ who can afford a fucking rolex. This is a crazy world we live in and AM is an asshole.

Posted in:DJ AM|Plane Crash

2008

01

Oct

DJ AM After Crash Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

DJ AM made it out to his friend Chris Baker’s memorial service. Chris Baker was Travis Barker’s best friend and assistant who died in the plane crash that left AM burnt so badly that he could walk around 2 weeks later to attend memorial services, flirt with girls on Facebook and ignore my messages wishing him good luck because along with being a burn victim, he’s also an asshole.

It’s good to see him making a speedy recovery. I know his fans are all excited about his return and the truth is that no matter how much of an asshole you are to me, you don’t deserve to be in a plane crash or spend the rest of your life in therapy because of the nightmares of that firey night don’t let you sleep because of fear and because of survivor’s guilt. Shit’s enough to make a former drug addict go back to drugs or maybe even commit suicide, so I’m not going to drive that point home because enough people have died in this whole mess, the one thing I would like to see die from all this is DJ AM’s bar mitzvah DJing because I find the success he’s found in playing top 40, the pussy he’s pulled from playing top 40, the cars he drives for playing top 40, the money in the bank from playing top 40, despite being a technically good DJ who can scratch and who all other DJs love because he hooks them up, to be pretty fucking offensive and it would nice to find out that his macbook pro filled with songs that died in the plane wasn’t backed up. Keep your fingers crossed.

Posted in:DJ AM|Plane Crash

2008

23

Sep

Shanna Moakler Leaving the Hospital After Visiting Travis Barker of the Day

7 Comments »

I once spilled a pot of boing water on my belly when making mash potatoes because it was all I could afford a few years ago. Within ten minutes I was in shock, convulsing on the ground with a fever and what felt like I was having a heart attack. I didn’t go to the hospital, but got the courage to stand up about 2 days later, with a stomach that looked like it had been raped by some kind of farm equipment. It was blistered and bleeding and made it impossible to move and I blame that burn for the beach body I don’t have because the pain I felt triggered something in my brain that made me never want to do physical activity again, but instead decided to take up emotional eating because I realized that injury was self-inflicted, and could only blame myself and feel sorry for myself while hating myself.

The point of that story, is to clearly state that I was burned by boiling water and was a total fuckin’ bitch about things and shit looked disgusting. I didn’t recover from it for months and I don’t even think I have scars to prove it ever happened, but I know that vile sight that scared girls from sleeping with me because they thought it was some form of herpes, has nothing on what Travis Barker looks like right now.

So here are some pictures of his baby momma, Shanna Moakler leaving the hospital distressed after seeing her man’s lesions, and not the lesions she is used to seeing ever since he fucked Paris Hilton and that Groupie in New Jersey. This shit is pretty serious and the fact that she’s wearing Hospital gear to see him for fear of infecting his damaged immune system proves it, even though I am sure she’s an emotional wreck to begin with and the kind of person who has the same reaction when she breaks a nail…..

The good news in all this is that AM wrote on his facebook page “I’M ALIVE”, which means in a few months I can go back to making fun of him. It would have been a great tragedy if I lost the punchline to most of my really bad jokes.

Posted in:Hospital|Plane Crash|Shanna Moakler|Travis Barker

2008

20

Sep

DJ AM and Travis Barker Were Critically Injured in a Private Jet Crash of the Day

6 Comments »

I know I make fun of DJ AM all the time, I call him gayer than bicycle shorts and it’s gone on for so long that he has personally told me and people I know that I am a pain in the ass, and when I met him a couple of times when he was randomly DJing events locally, he was always a decent guy to me, so I almost felt bad about teasing him, but continued doing it anyway because I am an asshole.

Just last night I was talking to a dude who was going to bring in these guys to play a show here and who was telling me how AM just got hired as Kanye’s new DJ and despite popular belief, I never talk about AM in my everyday life so it was weird to wake up this morning to a text message from my German whore fucker, saying that AM almost died in a plane crash and I felt responsible for possibly wishing death upon him in various posts over the years. The truth is that I don’t hate AM and I don’t think he deserves to die, or be in plane crashes. I just thought he was accessible enough and an easy target.

Either way, thanks to some miracle, probably the same miracle that got AM rich for spinning records in the first place, AM and Barker survived with a whole lot of burns to their bodies and are in critical condition but Travis Barker’s assistant and bodyguard died and so did 2 other people. I guess there’s more info to come from this story and despite my constant teasing, I wish both these dudes the best of luck and a speedy recovery.

I blame Shanna Moakler and just don’t understand why something like this doesn’t happen to someone who deserves it, like the stars of The Hills or something…..ya know!?

The pilot, Sarah Lemmon who died was a woman…I don’t trust a woman to drive a car, mow the lawn, pretty much do anything let alone fly a fuckin’ plane, this is an example of how letting women out of the kitchen and into the work force doing man jobs just doesn’t work. AM and Barker should have got off the plane the second she greeted them with the flight plan before they took off…I know I would. I’m just saying….what? too soon?

See the Plane’s Wreckage and Read the Story
HERE

Posted in:DJ AM|Plane Crash|Travis Barker