So the Pussycat Dolls are all about false advertising. They do these stripper performances in stripper outfits and they never actually take off their clothes and just sing and dance instead. It reminds me of the time I went to a stripclub during the day a few years ago and the girl on stage had a headset mic set up like she was Britney Spears or Madonna and as she was twirling around the pole, she broke into song. I thought to myself that this was both the weirdest concept I had seen at a strip club, even weirder than the girl who had a dildo attached to a remote control car and her assistant would let the audience try to drive it in her, and the funniest thing I had seen in a strip club, even funnier than the time in the 90s when a friend of mine in white pants came out of the lap dance area with a shit stain on his knee. I guess, the real reason I liked it was because of the broken dreams I knew this girl had, with enough confidence to sing on stage, I knew she would have rather been performing in her clothes in front of a real audience as a recording artist and not as a girl some old pervert is going to pay 10 dollars to touch. The crying in her voice made the whole experience that much more believable and that is why people like Nicole Scherzinger and the Pussycat dolls piss me off. They mock girls like the singing stripper I once saw and I take it personally, but not as personally as the stripper who I heard killed herself by taking too many sleeping pills…..

But that’s not the point of this post, the point is that we can all learn a few things from Nicole Scherzinger and her catalog of dance moves, and today’s lesson is the “Dog Piss Kick”. All you gotta do is squat then kick…..and once you master that you are one step closer to impressing girls in the club by busting out this move as part of your best Nicole Scherzinger impression, and by impressing girls, I mean making a fool of yourself.

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger|Pussycat Dolls