It turns out that Lauren Conrad isn’t infact a robot that was built in some MTV lab, which I thought was her story up until today. I mean it would explain the fact that she agreed to sell her soul to the devil and sign on to The Hills and it would explain why she is far from perfect, because last time I beat up a kid for his Popular Mechanics magazine, we just didn’t have the technology yet, but then again, the last time I read Popular Mechanics was in the ’20s, in another life, when they had just invented the blimp and were talking about motorized buggies instead of using horses. I don’t know where I am going with this, but I do know that my computer has fucking AIDS and is a real bitch to deal with, probably a lot like Lauren Conrad was growing up, and this is the man to ask.

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