Either Rihanna ate some bad fried chicken at Popeyes, or smoked too much weed after drinking too much because she’s fromt he Islands or she’s pregnant. I’m going with pregnant because when on the road, unable to do the normal things normal people do when they go to new cities because they will get ravaged by the press, paparazzi and fans, so they fuck unprotected styles which leads to babies….and AIDS and that leads to pukin on stage.
Speaking of STDs, I was out with a couple of girls last night and one of them had a camera. I sent her out to take upskirt pictures of girls partying, because I figured little girls would be more inconspicuous than perverted creepy motherfuckers like me. So after trying to get a shot of this girl who kept bending over wearing the shortest skirt in the world, since we were at some really grimey place, this crackhead dude comes up and grabs the girl taking picture by the arms, I step in and he bitch slaps me because I wasn’t letting his drugged, aggressive HIV, herpes faced motherfuckin’ grimey hands see this hot slut’s hot ass. When I tell him I am going to kill him, he ends up licking my face and running off, and now, I am pretty sure I am going to die.