I saw Kim Kardashian in person in Toronto last night. She was wearing horizontal stripes and looked like her and Kelly Clarkson had just finished a week long vacation at an all you can eat buffet, but I guess compared to her monster sister, she looked dainty and that’s why she’s so sad about her recent move to Miami, bitch worked better than a fuckin’ diet and workout plan, and here she is in her dumpy body showing off her high waisted bikini bottoms you’d expect to see on a mom of 5 at her 60th bithday party at a resort in Dominican or some shit. If you’re under 30 and rockin’ the uterus spanx shit, you know you’re in trouble, not that the monster Kardashian didn’t already know she was in trouble, despite the mirrors in her house bein taken down, she still sometimes catches a reflection in a window….I’m a little more down with the other Kardashian, but let’s be real for a minute, I’d fuck them both.

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