I was just talking to a girl who begs her boyfriend to piss on her, who fucks him and his friends at the same time, who loves sucking pussy when her man fucks it and she asked if I was a horny dude because of all the sex talk I annoy people with and I realized that I’m really not all that horny. Sure, I like talking shop with whores and I really find pussy and tits the only really interesting thing in life, but I’m not as weird as a lot of people about sex and that kinda makes me feel inadequate. I’ve never shat on a girl sexually, I’ve never had my ass fisted, I’ve never jerked off on a chick with five of my friends, I’ve never even tagged teamed a chick, I’ve never even fucked a girl who just finished fuckin’ my friend in the other room who offered us a two for one deal, I’m not into fetish or bondage, I am just standard and boring and all I really want is to bag a black girl or maybe a couple hot lesbians…

Sure, I’d love to piss on a couple of chicks who just finished bouncing off my dick, but I just don’t think I have enough dick to go around, enough stamina to keep up, or the ability to even get hard, so when I see these pictures of a horse with hard nipples, I don’t know what to do with them, since I’m so fuckin’ vanilla and the last thing I’d want to do with a horse is shove my dick in it, I’d rather ride it into the motherfuckin’ sunset, like the I pretend cowboy I am everytime I drink Bourbon…
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Posted in:Nipples|Sarah Jessica Parker