My gay friend loves the show Mad Men. He watches the shit all the fucking time and is obsessed with the concept of smoking on drinking on the job, except when it comes to me telling him stories about me smoking and drinking on the job, which triggers him to take a motherly approach and lecture me about how I am killing myself because I don’t get a enough hugs leading him to start hugging me to which I reply “you’re killing yourself because you had too many hugs, and by hugs I mean unprotected anal with strangers that gave you AIDS so stop hugging me, because I don’t want to get AIDS like this and if I need to get it any way, it’ll be by fucking a dirty, hot pussy, not by accidentally drinking some of the tears of the overbearing gay man in my life crying over my self destructive ways”….and I am sure he doesn’t watch the show because of this January Jones bitch and her stupid calendar name, or her tits that are in GQ this month….

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