Kirsten Dunst has been in Montreal for the last month. I live in Montreal. I haven’t seen her, bumped into her, or had sex with her accidentally and the whole thing is very disappointing, not because I find Kirsten Dunst hot, but because I used to like her big tits on her skinny body 10 years ago, and figure that I’d do it for Old Times, and really how many people would be able to say “I banged Kirsten Dunst”….well, I’m sure a lot of people can, but no one I know…

A lot of people I know have seen her. They all say she looks like shit and the most latest Dunst story is that she was in a bar sitting at the “bottle service” booth with an old man who is apparently her boyfriend. They told her she had to buy a bottle to stay at the table, and expecting the star treatment, bitch got up and said “I prefer hip hop music anyway” and left to find herself some black cock to speak to her in rhyme over beats…and I realize that story is garbage…but I’ve got limited resources and this is all the scoop I can manage…..

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Posted in:Kirsten Dunst|Montreal