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Heidi Montag Staged Bikini Pics So You Don’t Forget Her of the Day

Heidi Montag does whatever it takes to stay in the media, I guess she figures she’s put all this work into committing to being a trashcan of a person, focusing on nothing more than getting people to notice her, all while sacrificing any self-respect she might have….

That is why she pretended to get divorced to someone I think she pretended to marry. That is why they are now reporting she has a sex tape with some other useless attention whore. That is why she had the plastic surgery. That is why she is pretending to get the plastic surgery reversed. That is why she uses twitter to talk about massaging her implants. That is why she is in these staged bikini pics…

The real unfortunate thing in all this is that I don’t find her hot, or interesting, or even human, she is so low grade they wouldn’t feed her to orphans or homeless people if she was beef, but I guess pussy in a bikini is pussy in a bikini…even if it is the representation of all that is wrong in this world…

I do know that she’s gone this far, so the sex tape is probably real, and when it drops, I’ll be sure to climb on that like it was my wife busting my balls to fuck her….very cautiously….

The real depressing thing in all this is that she’s in Costa Rica and not Mexico, where she could have been confused for a drug lord’s slut wife, or a drug mule, resulting in her death…..but I guess we’re stuck dealing with her stunts a little longer…..

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  • HorneyLohanWanker

    What? No closeups of her Michael Jackson nose?


    Nice udders though, well worthy for playing with.

  • cowbulls

    I contend that her various sexual areas have hardly been touched. I bet that little troll is so inept that he probably didn’t even reach her hymen. That leaves some tight spots for some lucky guys. I hope she makes the rounds before eventually ending up in porn.

  • drunk mom

    really, wanker? those boobs are like rubbermaid containers…you should come over my house and organize mine, i’ve got a drawer full of mismatched ones all missing their lids.

  • HorneyLohanWanker

    Dudette, I got no plans to ever get my hands on them, so I could give a fuck if they were made out of cement, for jerking off to, they are perfectly adequate.

    Show me your tits, and I will tell you exactly how many pints of cum I shoot over them (I promise!)

  • roy

    Scroll down so you are looking at the bod below her plastic funbags, she looks great. Flat tummy and nice hips. You can have the rest.

  • Expletive:BMP

    ROY, Kim Kardashian though buttery, is infinitely better than this mess. And she’s as much of Christian as I was while masturbating with lots of lube pretending it was Kim K’s jello pudding, with a slither of cheese on top.

  • Expletive:BMP

    Note I haven’t masturbated to Kim Kardashian in over a week—I’m trying to be a christian.

  • I started out tobacco use while I was in my teens. That appears to be the worst wrong move I’ve made. Right now I’m older and I have COPD. When looking to quit cigs, I stumbled upon the e cigs and will see how it works. Ideally, it will help me with this particular unhealthy habit.