Someone just gave me a bottle of Gin that was half drank….I didn’t really worry too much about the fact that it could have fucking AIDS and jumped right in. Unfortunately Gin tastes like shit straight and I had nothing to mix it with cuz I have no money and my wife isn’t around to rob, so I’m soaking tea bags in the shit, cuz the taste of Gin kills me. I feel like am in the Royal fucking Family, all I need is some crumpets, whatever that shit is, but I’ll just settle with this pair of my neighbor’s panties fresh from the laundry room.
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Lindsay Lohan Isn’t Sponsored By Coke, She’s Sponsored by Pepsi
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Candice Swanepoel Is Pure Perfection
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Jessica Lowndes Tits Make Me Weep
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Natalie Portman Hotness
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David Arquette’s Life is Awesome Now
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Cher’s Geriatric Tits of the Day
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Ashley Simpson Just Cause It’s Been Awhile
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Every Arnold Schwarzenegger Scream From Every Movie He’s Been In
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Jennifer Aniston’s Body
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Nicole Scherzinger’s Amazing Cleavage
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