Emily VanCamp is someone who I have never heard of, which is pretty fucking unfortunate, because before she was on TV, some show called Revenge I’ve never heard of, which isn’t saying much, cuz I don’t watch TV….she was living in Montreal…..and I live in Montreal…meaning I could have crossed paths with her at the Canadian national dogsled games, or at the igloo building ceremony, or at the ice wall dance party….I coulda flashed this bitch my cock on public transit after school, you know before she was fucking famous…but I fuck up all opportunities…and it usually takes a photo of a vagina in dolphin position in the pool to make me realize my shortcomings by not cumming, failure at life.
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