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Golden Globes 2013 Recap of the Day

Miranda Kerr was the only girl worth paying attnetion to at the Golden Globes

I watched the Golden Globes…because I wasn’t invited again this year…thank god….in fact I live tweeted them while forcing myself to stay awake for boring staged speeches, staged nominess, an overall event that doesn’t matter….where people with the silliest of jobs, part of an old boys club, who produce relative uncreative bullshit to make stupid fucking money, tell each other how good and how brace and how amazing they are…when movies don’t fucking matter….it was on some masturbatory kick…they only funny thing was Sasha Baron Cohen…because he’s a genius….the frat boys would have probably liked Will Ferrell’s bit….and the tits were really few and far between….

I tweeted so hard, twitter turned off my account and said “come back tomorrow”….

Jodie Foster had a long winded lesbian speech about being a lesbian with obvious mental issues that therapy hasn’t hashed out but has made worse….not to mention her kids look like creepy lesbian raised horror movie creatures…

Highlights include:

Mel Gibson looking like a stroked out jew hater…

Glenn Close pretending to be drunk…the theme of the night…like a shitty high school party…

Tommy Lee Jones not laughing at Will Ferrell cuz it wasn’t funny and there was no end in sight for a joke that just kept repeating itself

Quentin Tarantino and P.T. Anderson – two greats from the 90s who do this shit for a living lost to the guy from Mallrats….and although I never saw Argo…I can say that would make me angry, you know showing the world just how easy a gig directing a hit is…

Jessica Alba looked skinny, Megan Fox had a new face, Adele remained fat…Anne Hathaway won for playing a character her mom played in the 80s…Hayden Panetierre didn’t show off her implants…I still want to fuck Amanda Seyfried…and I like Julianne Moore’s orange pubic hair….which I assume match Jessica Chastain’s pubic hair…in what become the year of the ginger

The girls didn’t look hot…I see better pussy at the strip club or any regular club…. Claire Danes talking about making babies…that was vile…or the fact that J.Lo was the old lady dressed the hottest…even if it looked like she was on her way to Puerto Rican prom…the other girl just didn’t bring it…

I’m not a hater…shit’s just boring….even when they threw some mystery my way with that Lena Dunham chick….who won twice and who has absolutely no business being on TV, but who clearly wanted to make herself famous and do whatever it takes to be on TV….she is built like Rosie O’Donnell, her show is apparently about anal sex, and the idea of her having anal sex makes me fucking sick….she is someone I wouldn’t want to even think about fucking, but yet she has a show about her fucking….like that would ever happen in any situation that didn’t involve her being the writer/producer and star of her own show….cuz girls like that…usually are forever alone….

It’s just another example that the world is turning into a bad SNL skit….The hosts putting fake nominees in different categories offended me….. Old Hollywood Glam has became a flash in a pan viral video…staring freaks and fucking geeks…who should be working the check out line….not getting 4,000,000 dollar book deals, movie deals and now Award Winning TV Shows…

We’re all fucking doomed….


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  • me

    it´s cause you tweet like a 16yo girl

  • cowbulls

    I have a lot of respect for Jodie Foster for living her life quietly and no giving a shit what anybody thinks of her nor thinking she needs to turn the rest of the world onto her gay lifestyle.