Emily Ratajkowski is awesome….She’s the kind of girl I’d want to charm with my sex appeal, have a one night stand with, trick into falling in love with me cuz I was the first guy to make her squirt, then ignore her calls til she can’t take it anymore….because when you look like this, and a guy ignores your calls, you take it up as a project to make him not take your calls, driving her insane…and eventually leading to her getting knocked up by me….spending the rest of her life with me….pretty much falling into the bear trap that I planted, without realizing I planted it…unless she reads this post….which she probably won’t cuz no one ever does….

That said, she’s what Kate Upton should be, so it is nice to see her shooting for Esquire, and not just because she’s topless, but cuz it means she’s taking it to the next step and that means the fame her hot body deserves…amazing.

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