Chrissy Teigan is my best friend on social media….and I even signed up to her food blog…because that’s just how tight we are….you see I write her insanity about being a gold digger cuz she’s marrying some Grammy award winning piano playing singer….and she ignores me…but once said something about loving the site…because let’s face it…everyone does….even if she ignores me every time I reach out….

I just assume it’s like we’re an old married couple who have never met..I talk, she ignores…I masturbate to other girls…but still follow her shit…cuz I feel obligated…even if her jokes aren’t that funny…and her focus should be spent on getting naked….something she finally delivered on today…..cuz she posted a pic of her mixed race ass gold digging wannabe comedian ass getting a spray tan…and sharing said spray tan with her followers…cuz she’s open about her life like that…and because she more importantly….she loves any and all attention…that’s what happens to girls who only do SI…but never make the cover of SI….they work harder on building their own brand….which is made easier when financed by some dude she groupied right.

Who cares….oh right…I do….she’s lovely….

Posted in:Chrissy Teigan