Before I get started, I just wanted to wish Chrissy Teigan, a huge fan of the site, who has gone so far as to write beautiful prose about her admiration for all I do, because I guess she likes what I write, even when it about her….now that she only books two paying jobs a year and has a lot of time on her hands to reflect on life…and read my site…

It was one year ago today, that she professed her love for me….and you know how girls get when you forget your anniversary..so Happy Anniversary girl…

Posted in:Chrissy Teigan

Chrissy Teigan is married…and in being married has found a new low level strategy to get noticed…that involves showing her nippple..

She’s a little Pug-Faced, and not in a good way, because if you know anything about me or the site, I have a #stepPUG and I call myself a Pug Whisperer, but human pugs aren’t quite as cute…

She’s just not really hot at all, and sure she has tits and a body, and has been in SI, but I think it’s time for her to just get knocked up and live that gold digging wife life…

She bores me, even with all her twitter jokes….that suck…time to shut it down.

Posted in:Chrissy Teigan

Chrissy Teigan is some fat Sports Illustrated model who always talks about food as fat girls who don’t know they are fat do…she’s the kind of girl who as her belly hangs over her pants but talks to people about how she doesn’t have to work out cuz she’s naturally beautiful…even though she’s not..it is one of those positive reinforcement situations gone wrong…where it gives a girl an ego, that tricks the rich dudes around her enough to marry her, and get her booked doing Candy commercials, when really Candy is the last thing she should be eating, but can be eating cuz her professional gold digging has gone heavy equipment and is now gold mining…

That said, I consider Chrissy Teigan a friend of the site.

Posted in:Chrissy Teigan

Chrissy Teigan is one of my best internet friends of all time…at least if you are like me and consider one tweet directed your way a lasting internet friendship…because that’s just where we’ve come socially…all our conversations forever recorded and on the record for the government to use against us…in text and meaningless from the comfort of our own homes..

I think I called her out for being a wallet fucking opportunist, thanks to her rich musical fiancé, but really who isn’t a wallet fucker these days, I mean even when she makes her own money, why bother dating a broke ass trick, it makes no sense…

I think she mentioned that she thought I was funny, which I can only interpret as flirting…and the whole never hearing from her again as playing hard to get….

Or maybe John Legend won’t let her, cuz he knows I’m a risk..

But he’s’ got nothing to worry about, I’m not into her, and I’m not into her nudes for GQ, I see a lot of model pussy on the internet, and for some reason, I am just not down..

No, it’s got nothing to do with me “Paula Deen-ing”…I think it has more to do with her being an internet comedian, one of the least attractive things for a girl to be…along with DJing…

Here are the pics anyway…

Here’s the video…

Posted in:Chrissy Teigan

Chrissy Teigan is my best friend on social media….and I even signed up to her food blog…because that’s just how tight we are….you see I write her insanity about being a gold digger cuz she’s marrying some Grammy award winning piano playing singer….and she ignores me…but once said something about loving the site…because let’s face it…everyone does….even if she ignores me every time I reach out….

I just assume it’s like we’re an old married couple who have never met..I talk, she ignores…I masturbate to other girls…but still follow her shit…cuz I feel obligated…even if her jokes aren’t that funny…and her focus should be spent on getting naked….something she finally delivered on today…..cuz she posted a pic of her mixed race ass gold digging wannabe comedian ass getting a spray tan…and sharing said spray tan with her followers…cuz she’s open about her life like that…and because she more importantly….she loves any and all attention…that’s what happens to girls who only do SI…but never make the cover of SI….they work harder on building their own brand….which is made easier when financed by some dude she groupied right.

Who cares….oh right…I do….she’s lovely….

Posted in:Chrissy Teigan

I make fun…or harass…or annoy Chrissy Teigan on twitter every once in a while…you know with the typical…social climber…gold digger shit…but she’s actually a lot of fun….but more importantly…good at being in a bikini…

She’s married to John Legend or some other Grammy winning black piano playe…she’s an SI Model…and I guess I am a fan….because when a girl built like this shows it off..you can’t really hate them….under any circumstance…especially when they tell you they love your site….when you know that only amazing people love your site…even if she doesn’t actually love my site…I’ll take it….and promote her to the end of time…like she is my internet soul mate I must sing love songs to….even if she’s probably tired of the love song shit…even if love somgs helped pay for her luxury apartment…and the ring on her finger I’d like in my ass.

She’s one of the good ones….and here’s a dog humping her to prove it…cuz dogs only hump good people…..good people I’d be humping too…

Posted in:Chrissy Teigan