I have been friends with a very solid photographer named CHRIS HEADS since what feels like the 90s, but was probably back in 2006 on Myspace…

He has since deleted me from his social media, so apparently we aren’t friends, which would explain why he hasn’t shot anything for DrunkenStepfather.com exclusively, but what he doesn’t know, is any picture of Emily Ratajkowski is for me, because I love her, and print them off, and wallpaper my one room basement apartment in them, so that I am in a room full of Emily, something that is as consuming as the real thing as I can get while plotting our flash mob proposal, and first wedding dance, just as soon as she responds to all the love letters I’ve been sending her, seal with my semen…

What we can learn from this shoot is that Smoking is bad…but Emily Ratatatatatatakowski is so good.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|NSFW