Lindsay Lohan is a fucking star.

I don’t care how hard she falls off, she will always be Lindsay Lohan, and in being Lindsay Lohan, she’s got rockin’ amazing tits…

She’s also got a well oiled machine…literally…where everything is strategically leaked and released and planned in efforts to have the biggest impact and the good news is that this time around on her comeback tour, she’s more naked that usual…You know less about the flashing her pussy at clubs, and more about being naked in movies.

I am sure she wants to be working, and winning Oscars, and taken seriously, and not in the media as some tabloid joke…so this is how it’s done, or at least attempted to be done.

The sex is shitty, but believable, I mean just cuz she fucked a lot doesn’t mean she fucked well.

The movie looks like a pile of shit, but I’ll probably see it. It’s my duty as he number one fan who believes in her awesome natural looking implants….even though part of me hates her for abandoning our friendship…

She didn’t book Lovelace people, but she can still get naked in movies people. She’s Lohan, anything is possible….somewhere out there there is a man with a camera willing to shoot her naked…like this guy right here.

I’d say fuck The Canyons and their leaking lohan nudes for attention, you know a little marketing, but I love me some Lohan….

Ultimately, she’s got the best tits in the game, and no matter how hard she’s fallen off, they will always matter, they will always be there to carry here, or act as a life vest when drowning, both figuratively and literally…and purchased or not, they are glorious.

Lohan, if you’re out there, I may have to start stalking you again…I don’t even mind her dead eyes and porn quality face surgery, if anything, I really like it.

Here are the clips…apparently they are pretty gay.

Here’s the trailer if you care to learn more about this movie, even after seeing the good parts.

If you are looking for a Lindsay Lohan Experience, take my man Foetus La Plantain’s 4 step plan to experience Lohan without Lohan’s involvement.

1- make an old roast beef sandwich and heat it up in the microwave until its all dry and leathery
2- add cottage cheese to it for texture,
3- fuck the sandwich with my eyes closed while licking a dirty ashtray
4- listen to patty and selma from the simpsons.

its like you really there…..

Share your Lohan experiences with us in the comments…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|NSFW