Yesterday, Kim Kardashian posted a photoshopped picture that she pretended was a selfie, but that was clearly a picture taken by a photographer, and edited by a photographer, because Kim Kardashian is a lying famewhore pig who doesn’t fuck around with her “social media”…because you have a team of people who do it for you…and when they do…they try to get as much buzz as possible…because the Kardashians are finally falling off, unfortunately not a dying breed, but still irrelevance is looking and that excites me…but not as much as if OJ took them out instead of his actual wife back in the 90s.

Last night, the lovely pro surfer Anastasia Ashley, who clearly has a “good sense of humor”…decided to show the world that “sense of humor”…with a pic of how a white one piece is meant to look on a bitch taking a selfie in front of a room divider…it’s like what can’t this babe do…from big wave surfing during the day, to taking bikini selfies that make fun of the lowest pile of shit in the corner of pop culture…and I guess we shouldn’t look too much into it, but rather we should look in her soul, by way of her fit, round, surfer ass I would, and have tried to chip a tooth on at least once…

The whole thing was so well played and I am not just saying that because she is the love of my life, my favorite person, my soul mate who just doesn’t know it yet, the girl I write love songs and love poetry about locking in my basement after drugging her and abducting her in my van because it shows how much I care even when she doesn’t cooperate or give back…and I just hope her next play is a sex tape starring me, that we film tonight…after we get married…like I was lyonsada….connected at the soul like it soul like it was Final Destination 5….

All this to say, she’s so silly and I got a kick out of this pic…post more….and by post more I mean…let me get you pregnant.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW