If you read this site you will know one simple thing…and that is that I am in love with Emily Ratajkowski. She is a sweet and delicate flower sent from heaven to ruin my life with her amazing body and even more amazing…body…

She has done this rise to the top thing through strategic nudity better than pretty much anyone to date and now she’s gone all hollywood, far too big for me to ever trick her into dating me, but in my defence, even the girl mopping the floors at the local diner after hours, cuz it’s the only gig her criminal record and retardation allows her to have, is too big for me…

Either way, that doesn’t mean I can’t hope that one day I will be with Emily Ratajkowski long enough to get her pregnant by throwing my sperm at her as she walks by….that’s my new hustle…

This is love…endless love and she’s fucking amazing…

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