Alyssa Miller is some girl who Sports Illustrated created thanks to dating the photographer’s son, probably a strategic move, like dating Jake Gyllenhaal, even though Gyllenhaal is gay, because you only live once and you might as well get as much exposure as possible..you know make the fucking moves when the opportunity presents itself, even if it requires using your vagina as collateral because otherwise some other girl is going to do it and get all that could have been yours…Get money, fuck bitches.

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