Thanks to the internet, it’s getting harder and harder to get off. There was a time when Sports Illustrated or a Sears catalog was enough, but now we’ve gone throughout the depths of hell in terms of porn and what girls can put themselves through, that now the only thing that can get me off this holiday season is when I see a bikini model turned hotter with photoshop, then turned into santa, because I know she doesn’t have a dick when she started….reminding us all that everything we see on the internet is practically cartoon version of real people and we like it that way.

If you don’t like that – here’s airport security saving a baby that a dad was probably trying to kill off because babies ruin lives…

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