I didn’t bother GOOGLING Lily Allen to see if she’s actually opening up for Miley Cyrus or if that’s just a rumor I made up, because I would have found it funny that her whole act is making fun of Miley and popstars because she wants to be one so bad, only for Miley to call her out on her bullshit and give her loser ass a job, out of pity, opening for her….I’ve made up stories about a fatter Lily Allen before…like her abortion she masked as a miscarriage that led to her blocking me on twitter, because I guess she didn’t like my tweets…in a pre cyberbully era..

But then again, I don’t ever think about Lily Allen and her sloppy, even when skinny, old even when not that old, mom of two even after her abortion she masked as a miscarriage body…

Until she flashes her cooter, a cooter you know she can fit large objects inside based on her size and her kids alone. I’m talking double cucumber…maybe even triple…not that we’d know since she’s got it tightly wrapped in panties..

I guess her whole experience in pathetic, desperate and there’s something fun about that…but maybe I’m blinded by her pretending she’s 14…we call this a midlife identity crisis

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Posted in:Lily Allen