I have travelled, very fucking little in my life, but enough to know that I’ve never been on a plane where the girl sitting next to me looks anything like this, or stretches like this, or is on seats anything like this. I am more of the back of the plane, hit by turbulence, too fat for one seat but too cheap to buy two seats, sitting next to two other pigs in the same situation as me, our fat spilling over onto each other, cramming the people in front and behind us, all while sticking up the plane with our fat person stench…

It’s like this Izabel Goulart shit should be an ad for business class, because it seriously makes me want to save up money I steal from my wife to travel business class, and not just because I hate the prison I’ve built for myself, but because of the small and unlikely chance that I’d end up next to plane porn like this…leading to me mile high clubbing myself until they have to make an emergency landing and I get arrested for being indecent.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart