I'll Make You Famous…




Jessica Lowndes in a Bikini on a Swan of the Day

Jessica Lowndes is some 25 year old Canadian who I have never met, even though I am in Canada, and you would think we all know each other, since Canada is one shitty small town filled with beavers, maple trees and ice, but I don’t leave my house and Jessica Lowndes lives in Los Angeles, being all “famous” thanks to landing one bullshit role on a bullshit show that is not on TV anymore, but that still make her think she’s more important and better than the people she’s left back home…even though she’s barely working now, but instead shooting slutty pics in her bikini for instagram, hoping someone will notice…like the bottom feeder she may not admit she is, but that she totally is….and luckily, I like bottom feeders, but that’s just becuase rim jobs feel good knowing that a girl is willing to lick your unshowered sweaty asshole, risking E Coli to please you…right…

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