When you hang with old guys – wear the sheer dress and massive nipple pasties – because old guys see past your broken down face and can focus on your young enough body – because even as I get older – the girls I wouldn’t fuck back then – I would totally fuck now – strictly based on the fact that they are 20..and everyone loves tits – especially when it is time to promote a new album…with Tony Bennett.

I saw Tony Bennett live a few years ago, before his first Lady Gaga album as released, and he was pretty much making fun of the whole thing to the crowd, he wasn’t calling her out on being a ugly beast who craves fame to validate her existence, but he did make fun of her obvious publicity stunts – but that was before he made more money than he ever made in his career because of her – leading to him only releasing music with her for the next 5 years – because along with being a cow – she’s also a cash cow…

It’s funny what money will do to a motherfucker who likes money…I am sure now he encourages all this shit, maybe he even bought her the dress to get a few more hits, maybe there will be a sex tape, and really as horrible as she is, I am not against her tits…I am an equal opportunity titty employer….doesn’t matter who they are attached to, so long as they are tits.

All this to say, this is how I expect people to dress to all functions at the Old Folks home. It keeps things hot and bothered…and weeds out the weak…who aren’t used to girls being such whores.

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Posted in:Lady Gaga