I think I am in love with Shay Mitchell. Sure I have never met her, but I am being drawn in by her ethnically ambiguous nice tan and skinny legs and hot body, coupled with her Canadian who escaped our socialist regime, slowly on the takeover, so that you Americans have no idea when everyone running your media and TV shows are from Canada, pushing out communist agenda on you, like healthcare….and maple syrup…

And with being in love with Shay Mitchell, I have decided to never sext another girl, never fuck another girl, divorce my wife, even though she pays my rent, and taking my divorce settlement of 50 dollars to hitchhike to Los Angeles…where I will attend the secret Canadians in LA social groups, where they discuss the takeover, only to move in on her, and ask her to be my Valentine.

Seriously…she’s amazing…but I may just be blinded by her vagina being pressed against the back of a girls head…cuz it means she likes head…and so do I…we are so the same…we are one…Jesus Shay Mitchell Martinez.

Posted in:Shay Mitchell