The Super Bowl is Happening and all you losers are excited because your lives are meaningless and you only find happiness in watching men in tights beat the fuck out of each other to get a ball over an imaginary line. You’re into supporting a multi billion dollar industry that makes these dudes who are capable of running, throwing and catching the millions of dollars for a really lame talent, so that they can live the life of luxury and fuck models…while you sit on your fat ass eating fucking donuts, pretzels and beer….looking for a release from your shitty life.
I’m not a sports fan, to me sports are for queers. It’s the mainstream, safe for work version of cuckold and circle jerks for dudes to jerk get off together over common ground and pretend they aren’t gay.
That said, I’m into sports when the players are in lingerie…you know cuz I’m a dude and that’s what all sports should look like…so here are the top 10 Lingerie League players to remind you what you SHOULD be into….
And if you’re going to drink be sure to get our partner’s product HANGOVER PREVENTION PILLS …they’ll keep you in the game the next day after you over do it…cuz overdoing it is what you need to do to medicate yourself enough t offset your erections from watching sports…because you’re not ready to deal with being gay.
Have a great Super Bowl Weekend….but you should be into Lingerie not men in tights…it’s nature’s way.
1 – Monica Bonczak – WR for the Toronto Triumph
2 – Tanyka Renee OL/DL for the Phladelphia Passion
3 – Nikki Johnson QB/CB for the Las Vegas Sin
4 – Morgan Spencer QB for the Baltimore Charm
5 – Marija Condric – RB/LB for the Cleavland Crush
6 – Jessica Renee C/OL for the Los Angeles Temptaion
7 – Danielle Moinet S/CB for the Chicago Bliss
8 – Ashley Salerno QB/S for the Los Angeles Temptaion
9 – Chelsie Jorgensen C/DE for the Seattle Mist
10 – Angela Rypien QB/S for the Seattle Mist
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