Sara Sampaio looks a little too much like a Portuguese Fisherman / Tom Hanks who is also Portuguese….to really get me excited…in part because my first bosses at an internet company were Portuguese making me racist towards Portuguese people, only to learn after meeting actual Portuguese people, that they are in fact great people who embrace being the armpit of Europe according to the rest of Europe, making it a cheap travel destination to an amazing place with amazing food….that my Portuguese Racism is more directed at first generation Canadian Portuguese people because they fucking suck.

So Sampaio, the fisherman’s daughter, looking like a relation to those losers I once worked for, can’t be something I’d ever jerk off to….she’s beyond fucking average and how she became this “model” worthy of importing to america to work for the most coveted brand these whores, aka all whores crave to work for because it will mean that they are “Hot” by the mainstream standard…makes no sense to me…but it happened.

I guess now that Victoria’s Secret is half dying, she’s doing wet t-shirt contests with herself, which is really the level of “modelling” I’d peg her for, if it wasn’t for that whole VS thing that makes no sense….either way, she’s fighting to get the views like her dad fights with a sturgeon he’s trying to reel in that could feed the family for a month…. and this is how she’s doing…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Sara Sampaio