I’ve assumed Katy Perry was pregnant her entire career, because she’s one sloppy bitch, but seeing her actually pregnant is pretty fucking vile, because now that pile of slop has a valid excuse for her sloppy, taking loads up inside her, but more importantly, there’s a fucking child growing inside her.

Never have I wished we were in the 1800s as much as I do here today, because the chances of her dying in child birth are slim to fucking none….

So we will be exposed to more of her shitty, like REAL fucking shitty pop music and awkward dancing that NO ONE likes, yet it still exists….only we’ll know her genetic line has continued.

Orlando Bloom should be fucking ashamed of himself, this is that fat girl one night stand regret that just got worse because you knocked her up that drunken night you found her at the pizza spot after the club…and now you gotta continue talking to her because you have a kid together until the end of fucking time….forever a reminder of how your boner gets you in trouble when available pussy is available…probably how someone with herpes feels every time a scab pops up…like “why didn’t I jack off”.

What I am trying to say is that this is the fucking worst…and that Orlando Bloom’s memoir will forever be “From Miranda Kerr to Dog Shit Real Fast”…..

Katy Pery the scam of the 2000s still scamming…

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