There was a time when my best viral stunt idea was to hold a candlelight vigil outside Elisha Cuthbert’s family house in memorial of her career….she’s from Montreal and there’s really only a handful of celebs from Montreal…so it seemed to be the easy access point to do a celebrity troll without any real travel involved…I figured I could find the family home relatively easily despite her living in LA being all famous and shit…but then the world forgot she existed or at least I forgot she existed but I’ll always remember that stunt that never was because I don’t believe in bringing anything to completion…especially a woman…sexually…I like them on edge.

Point being, she’s apparently still got some kind of career, at least she’s in a bra top looking like a middle aged with a wide midsection promoting some of her work that she once had…because this is part of a reunion for something called HAPPY ENDINGS that she was a part of, probably after my whole VIGIL idea got thwarted…and I guess at 40 she’s alright but looks 40….if you’re into that…

I figure you are because it’s probably got a pussy and that’s not even a prerequisite for you anymore, you’re progressive like that and this whole Queer thing has finally opened up your network of potential things to fuck, because dudes will fuck anything, even you. Where as girls are a whole bunch of work and who’s got time for that….right? The “turning queer was the easy choice with all this bitching out here, just as long as you can see past the balls”…and aren’t doing any of that missionary style anal sex, it’s too romantic….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert