I know what you’re thinking, is this the position Eiza was in when Josh Duhamel went back to heterosexual sex after breaking it off with his man Fergie…?

Or maybe you’re wondering why the Mexican actress who rebuilt her face, it’s all angular, as she strives to be the next Mexican actress to infiltrate American cinema because she was rich enough to buy her work visa, so she didn’t have to dig a tunnel to Weinstein’s house.

I don’t know if she’s that accomplished yet, but people do confuse her for being hot, forgetting she’s the kind of hot that ends up making ugly babies after it gets knocked up because what you see is not what you get..Think “Demi Moore’s Kids”…that bitch spent 10 million dollars on surgery to look how she does but that didn’t save her kids or their jawlines…

Maybe you’re thinking “how brave she is to be on a Subway in these trying times, unprecedented times, stay safe Eiza”….because people still take public transportation daily in cities around the world and no one is dying of covid…

Or maybe you’re mad she’s not in a MASK, because wearing masks has been REAL effective in stopping the spread….but is she even on an actual subway or on some Hollywood set to make it look like a SUBWAY…we will never know…but we can see her insane heels she wears to offset her midget legs…that’s always fun…midgets not heels.

Good thing it’s a 99.99% survival rate….that leads me to believe we’ll all be OK, so go lick some door knobs and get on with your life before you have to walk around with a COVID VACCINE pass…fucking morons.

Posted in:Eiza Gonzalez