You don’t need to understand Kate Beckinsale or why she looks as good as she does in her mid 40s. There’s gotta be some sort of explanation that doesn’t matter because even as someone who didn’t see Underworld, but knew loser virgin types who would buy 3 version of the Underworld special edition DVD, two for the collection to remain unopened and one to watch, which I thought was overkill but I wasn’t well versed in nerd culture at the time, and now realize that he could probably sell those for 1,000,000 dollars, I mean people are buying animated GIFS and screenshots of GIFs for 1,000,000 dollars…there’s clearly a surplus of money and I aint getting any of it…

So despite not being a Kate Beckinsale die hard nerd who loved her vampire shit, I can say, she must have made a deal with the devil, or got herself fucked, probably up the ass by a vampire, and I don’t mean Pete Davidson, wasn’t she fucking him? Or was it some other young loser she uses their sperm as an anti-aging treatment…I don’t care..

I just know that she looks too good for her age and it creeps me out, but it could be from being a rich kid, she started out rich, got knocked up by rich, and can spend months at a time in a vat of coconut oil and aborted fetus for the stem cells…

She’s in some fetish gear and she looks like something you’d want to stick your dick in, despite the menopause, if anything her menopause is the kind of menopause that makes you excited about all the benefits of menopause that are usually overlooked cuz they don’t outweigh what menopause normally looks like…

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Posted in:Kate Beckinsale